"SOUL EXPRESSIONS"

I look in the mirror,
What do I see?
This is not the loving person,
I wanted to be.

As I see my reflection,
I know love of life and happiness is still in me,
I hide it, smile outside, pain inside,
Living my life...silently.

A caged being I feel trapped,
Not knowing, not knowing the feel of love and kindness,
Wanting to not see my life,
For protection to my heart, living with my own blindness.

Winds of fate seems still,
Going nowhere, is how I feel,
Abuse in my life that has a grip on me,
I so wish was not real.

What happened to my spirit that wants freedom?
I was once a pretty butterfly that flew free,
Now,
Frozen in a hell, called my reality.

Just the other day,
I felt freedom in a dream, but had to wake up,
Waking up with a smile and a no worries,
It was over, when I was told to shut up!

With misty tears,
Will I be like this?
The remainder of my future years?
Can I smile and be happy for once?
Or will I have to live daily with real fears?

No one knows of my life with a home of violence,
Trying to be happy, giving myself some love,
I don't want any more abuse, so I keep my silence,
Even after praying for this to go away to above.

Sometimes I feel a little hope, feeling trapped,
The barriers on that door that is open, for I am bruised,
Of my flesh and heart,
From the hell of being abused.

If I keep quite today,
Will no more abuse come my way?
Possibly, some joy...and happiness..I will have that will stay.
I want to be that butterfly that flew free yesterday.

But I know my reality,
This is only a make believe dream, I think,
As more of the same, will come to me.
Wished I could make go away with a magical blink.

Does anyone know?
What it is like, living daily with fear?
Verbal abuse, punches to my flesh,
Just wanting to live a life, with love and happiness that is sincere.

As I look at my life, only my shadow is my friend,
As my shadow also cries for me her tears,
She and I live in this place of hell with no end,
As she also, lives with me in my fears.

I pray, I live for the day,
Where I can fly free in the air above,
Because inside me,
I have so much hidden love.

I am not a thing,
To be abused as I think and cry,
For I am special, I am me,
That pretty butterfly of love and caring in the air, that does fly.

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