It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years
of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route
he was greeted by the whole family there,
who congratulated him and sent him on his way
with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him
a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At each of the houses along his route,
he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards,
and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door
by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand,
gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him),
and led him up the stairs to the bedroom
where they had a most passionate liaison.
Afterwards, they went downstairs,
where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham,
sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill
sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge.
“All this was just too wonderful for words,
” he said, “…..but what’s the dollar for?
” “Well,” she said, “Last night, I told my husband
that today would be your last day
and that we should do something special for you.
I asked him what to give you?
” He said, “…Scr*w him ………give him a dollar.”
The blonde then blushed and said,
“….But the breakfast was my idea.”
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